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We all know there is SO MUCH JUNK on social media, but there is also A LOT of GOOD resources. One account I have been loving is @simplyonpurpose who teaches positive parenting. As always, I find any sort of parenting advice also works in the lesson and with practice. Ralphie from @simplyonpurpose offers 4 simple concepts that I've been reminding myself daily as a parent, a teacher and a practice parent this past year.
I am in control of myself
Teach my children
Look for the good
Ignore the junk
I am in control of myself
It was a profound wake up call to me when I realized I can't control my children (or anyone for that matter). I can encourage, I can support, I can teach, I can model, I can ask, but I can't control them. In those moments when I am feeling out of control with my kids, I am learning to look inward. What about myself can I control in the moment and what in the environment can I control to steer my children in the right direction. Some days I figure it out. Some days I don't.
When I practice self control, instead of focusing on everything that is going wrong, I shift my focus to what can I teach in this moment. During practice, when my daughter is full of beans and her focus is miles away, it can be all too easy to loose my temper, especially if I'm already on edge from a stressful day. When I remind myself to be present and that I am in control, I can rise to my daughters level, join her in play and help her find focus in the moment. When I control my own emotions and realize my daughter isn't out to make this the most difficult practice ever, I can show her compassion and understanding in that we all have days where we feel unfocused and out of sorts. She is allowed to feel this way and it is my job to accept her as she is and steer her in the direction of learning to control herself and her own actions. When I am open and honest with her about the situation, normally we can come up with some sort of practice plan to suit us for that day.
Teach my children
Every moment is a teachable moment if we are open to perceiving it as such. The more we talk about learning and making mistakes, exercising our bodies and our minds on a regular basis and finding wonder and curiosity in making mistakes and dealing with what is hard, the better we can develop a growth mindset in our own life and our child's life. Let's train ourselves to problem solve in the moments of discomfort and look at each misstep as an opportunity to learn - for ourselves and our children.
Look for the good
When we look for the good, we build a child's confidence. Shinichi Suzuki's concept from the Early Childhood Education Class (my Small Steps Music Class) is: Success Breeds Success. When you look for the good, the good gets better. Focus on the good in each moment, even when it is minuscule and sometimes hidden by chaos. Good is always there, and when we foster the good in people, not just children, we will get more of it in return.
Ignore the junk
Ignoring the junk is so hard and goes against every instinct we have. Just as we know we should ignore so much on social media, it is far too easy to get sucked into a never ending spiral of videos and nonsense. Instead of just ignoring the junk however, I like to think of it more as trying to REDIRECT it. We are going to notice it, no doubt, but when we notice it and STOP before we react, we can redirect the junk into something positive. We can stop ourselves when we feel the spiral start. When I feel my temper or my impatience spike in practice, it's up to me to notice what I'm feeling, stop it in it's tracks, and problem solve what I need. Maybe I just need to shift my perspective. Acknowledging my feelings can do this and in turn allows me to be present. Maybe I know I'm not going to be able to handle practice as I should that day. I can decide to be honest with by daughter and agree to just do a short practice or we can try again later.
Maybe it's my daughter or a student who needs to be redirected. Having a tool kit of resources to pull out and try when silliness ensues is invaluable when trying to harness focus from a little one. When we know there is junk to be redirected, it is also important to shift our expectations and not put pressure on a child who has a case of sillies and isn't showcasing as good a practice as they did the day before. We all have off days. When we adjust our expectations and find success no matter how small, we can come out of any situation feeling happy and accomplished.
Thank you @simplyonpurpose for these amazing reminders that play a part in practice, the lesson and our everyday lives.
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