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I started listening to Podcasts shortly after my second daughter was born. I quickly heard about Jay Shetty and have been listening to him weekly for almost a year and a half. He most recently did a podcast on the "9 Ways to Get Comfortable Doing Uncomfortable Things". What usually happens to anything I listen to or read is I take what I'm learning and relate it to learning the violin. I continue to marvel at how the simple concepts we can learn about life are also the same concepts we use when learning the violin. They are all connected. So here is the list from Jay Shetty's Podast "9 Ways to Get Comfortable Doing Uncomfortable Things", and how we can work on being comfortable doing uncomfortable things in LIFE and playing the VIOLIN.
1. Small Steps
If you read anything on learning, habit building or on how highly successful people became successful in their craft, it all starts with small steps. It's how children learn from birth and it's how we at any age can learn anything we set our mind to. We start small and we keep steady. Whatever you are struggling with, on the violin or in any area of your life, figure out how to break it down to the small steps and start there. Not sure how? Ask your teacher or someone you trust for advice. BIG JOURNEYS START WITH SMALL STEPS.
2. Slow down, Stop, Reflect
We need to do this when our negative thoughts are running wild and when that practice spot is getting the better of us. Slow down, stop and reflect. What is the problem? Is there any truth in that negative thought? Fight the negativity by stopping it in it's tracks. Come up with a solution or a new way to try the practice spot or a new perspective on the situation. Until we stop, we continue with negativity and the uncomfortable over and over again. When we reflect, we start working towards making the uncomfortable easy.
3. Do One Uncomfortable Thing Yearly
Maybe it's performing a piece we never thought we'd be able to perform or learning a technique we always thought would be too hard. We all have fears and things that hold us back from what we want to achieve. When we figure out what we want to accomplish and what fears may be standing in our way, we can, one small step at a time, start to break down those barriers. Picking one uncomfortable thing to tackle every year or to set as a goal is an incredible stepping stone to creating comfort and confidence in our lives.
4. Surround Yourself with Those Who Do Uncomfortable Things
Build or join a community. Read and listen to those who you are interested in and inspired by. Watch and observe those who you want to be like. There is so much about teaching, parenting and playing the violin that made me nervous and scared. This fear stemmed from not knowing enough. The more I learn and surround myself with those I admire, the more comfortable I become in the various roles I portray. Knowledge is power and we gain knowledge by observing and learning from others who do similar things to what we want to do and then acting on what we want to do.
5. It's Okay to Fail
Work on developing a growth mindset and start teaching children how important it is to make mistakes, fail and get back up again and again. MODEL, as a teacher and parent, making mistakes and recovering from them. Find beauty in the imperfections of life and show this to our kids. Learn about people who have changed the world and have only done so by failing over and over again. This is where we learn. This is where we grow. This is where we become resilient. When we find comfort in the uncomfortable of failure and mistakes, we become unstoppable.
6. Measure the Smallest Improvements
Being aware of our progress and our effort is huge in staying motivated through what is hard and uncomfortable. When children are aware of how much they practice versus how much they improve, they can see the connection between their work and their progress. This motivates them to continue. The small improvements and the everyday effort are what should be celebrated and not the end result. It's the journey that matters. It's the journey that we will remember, not the destination. The destination is just a moment in time. The journey is our life.
7. Say You Don't Know Anything When You Only Know a Little
I find this one so interesting. How many times do we agree with someone or suggest we know what is going on or what they are talking about when we really only understand a little or maybe none at all. Maybe it comes from a fear of being left out or feeling like we should know more than we do. This feeling that maybe we aren't enough or aren't as good as the person we are talking to because they know more than us. Which isn't true, they just happen to know more about this one thing than us. Let's normalize being honest when we don't know something or know only a little and to be open to learning. If we can be more open minded about learning and learning from those who know more than us, we can let go of a lot of discomfort.
8. Accept Feedback & Correction
I've had so many students who come to lesson and take every bit of feedback and correction personally. We can't learn anything without feedback and correction, whether it is from a teacher or from ourselves. If we can be open minded about learning and realizing that we have the choice on whether to accept the feedback and correction or not, it puts us in control of our learning and takes the personal side out of the equation.
9. Don't Avoid & Postpone - PREPARE
We spend so much time thinking about the things we should be doing. We obsess over it and ruminate and put it off over and over again. We spend more time and effort not doing something than it takes to actually do the something we've been thinking about. Make a plan. Schedule it. Commit. Make yourself accountable to others. Find support, perspective and insight from your teachers, friends and family. Count down from 5-4-3-2-1 and take that first step, no matter how small, now matter what it is.
To Conclude
Let's NORMALIZE the UNCOMFORTABLE in LIFE! The uncomfortable is where growth and learning lives. It's where we push ourselves beyond what we think we are capable of and come out the other side stronger and more resilient then ever. Take the uncomfortable as a sign of being on the correct path. It's how we DEAL with the uncomfortable that will determine the outcome of our lives.
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