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This was such a great question that I got at our last Parent Education Event.
I think it's important to point out that a lot of what I am suggesting doesn't only apply to the violin, but is how we can approach anything we are trying to teach our children.
#1 - Parent as Model
First thing to remember when we want a young child to do something is to MODEL. As the parent, make sure you are modelling the action or behaviour you want to see in your child. This is why I encourage parents of little ones to learn to play the violin along with their child. Having the parent practice for a few minutes daily with the child present is a very natural stepping stone to getting a child to practice for a few minutes daily.
#2 - Environment Nurtures Growth
The next thing to make sure is set up is the right environment for learning. There are many things to consider about the home environment such as:
is the Suzuki music being played at home?
is practice happening at the right time of day when the child has the most focus?
is the child hungry?
is the child tired?
is the violin in tune?
are there too many distractions in the practice room?
what is the child doing right before practice? (transitioning from one activity to the next can be tricky - don't expect any child to be ready to focus if they have just had screen time.)
is the child wearing comfortable clothing in order to hold the violin?
is practice happening consistently at the same time everyday so it is predictable for the child?
what amount of pressure is being put on the child to practice? Does the parent have realistic expectations on what is to be accomplished during practice?
There are many variables that go into a successful practice. If this all seems daunting and you really aren't sure where to start or what is happening in the home environment, have a discussion with your teacher outside of lesson time to figure things out.
#3 - Parents know their child best
Parents, you hold the key to creating a successful practice time with your child because you know them best. With a bit of creativity and open mindedness you can take almost anything the child is interested in and turn it into a game or activity on the violin.
For example:
Have a child that loves to read? Read a page in a book for every repetition.
Have a child that loves Paw Patrol? Have the pups jump onto the twinkle variation cards and see if the child can play them. Alternately, you can change many of the twinkle variation names to reflect characters your child likes (ex. Mississippi Hot Dog = Rubble on the Double, Lollipop Lollipop = Paw Patrol Paw Patrol, etc.)
Collect for repetitions or practice spots - stickers, legos, fruit loops, beads, pennies, etc.
Have a child who loves snacks? Give a cherrio, for example, for every bow hold made. I used to place a fruit snack on each variation card and we would play the rhythm, then eat the snack. To advance the game, you could do 3 repetitions before eating the snack.
Have a child who loves puzzles? Put a puzzle piece together for every repetition.
Alternately, if you are really having trouble finding something that interests your child, ask them what they would like to do when they practice.
Is there something they would like to collect?
Do they have stuffed animals who wants to watch them play?
Are there stickers they want to collect or a snack they want to earn?
Is there a board game they want to play or create to help with practice?
Is there something they want to work towards if they get in so many practice days or so many repetitions?
Is there a way to transition what they are currently playing with and turn it into a practice game?
#4 - Put them in charge, with guidance
Give them as many choices as you can. Do they want to practice holding the violin or holding the bow first? Do they want to play Mississippi Hot Dog or Ti Ti Sh Ti? Do they want to play a musical alphabet game or lines and spaces? The more you can put them in charge with guidance, you start to give them autonomy in their practice and this not only deepens their connection to practice and the violin, but allows you to start working as a team instead of against one another.
On a personal note:
I had many expectations when I first started practicing with my daughter. I definitely had a vision of the progress I would make with her that just was not meeting reality. I blamed myself for a long time because I thought there is no way it should be this hard. This is what I do for a living, I should be able to do this with my own daughter! We struggled for a long time. We still do struggle. What I've had to learn is that it's not my fault and it's not my daughter's fault. I've learned to stop putting some much pressure on myself and my daughter to be something we are not and to focus on connecting with my daughter and working on learning and being better with her everyday. When my second daughter became interested in the violin, I was hesitant to start with her. I was scared to go through that I went through with my oldest. But, every child is different. My first is more of a wild child and my second more often goes with the flow. These traits play a role in practice and each will prove to have their own strengths and weaknesses as time goes by for us to figure out together.
#5 - Be Flexible and Don't Compare
Being flexible with our expectations is so important. It's ok to have high standards and to want the best for your child and to encourage them to do their best and accept challenges. It's also ok to know when to back off, to keep it simple, to just listen and support and to focus on one thing. It is ok to only practice one small thing everyday even though other families in similar situations are doing more. It is ok if your child isn't progressing at the same rate as other children that you see. Comparison is the thief of joy. Focus on your growth and your journey. It is the only one that matters and the only one you can control.
#6 - Character First, Ability Second
We aren't in this for the rate of progress. We are in this because we want our children to become fine human beings. We want them to know what it is to work hard at something and not give up. To be able to commit to learning something. To being part of a community and supporting their peers. To be able to work with those of different ages and levels. To accept challenges. To find joy in what they can do well and persevere through the struggles to reach their goals.
I hope this has given you some things to think about and consider and as always, I am here to help you and your family figure out how violin and practice will work best for your family.
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