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Another account I am enjoying following is @biglittlefeelings. They have a free article on their website which takes you through tips on how to stop tantrums before they start. As always, I find parenting advice works wonders in the lesson and practice. Their idea of using *PREP* to help children transition from one activity to another spoke so true to me.
One of the hardest parts of practice is just getting started. This is true for young ones and those of any age. Transitioning from one activity to the next is tough especially when you are little and not in control of the situation.
@biglittlefeelings breaks down how to make these transitions easier on everyone and are simple concepts that I have found through experience, work with my own daughter in establishing effective practice.
P - Plan in Advance
R - Reveal the Plan
E - Explain the Details
P - Put Your Child in Charge
Plan in Advance
Setting the stage for practice is crucial. Approaching anything with a plan in mind sets us up for success. Of course we can learn to be flexible and improvise in the moment, but at least with a plan in mind, we have purpose and we have structure to build off of. In terms of practice, I make sure to look at our schedule and what has worked and what hasn't worked in the past. I bracket practice after an activity so that my daughter has a better sense of her day and when things happen rather than just saying practice will be at 1:00 (she may not have a concept of 1:00 yet, but she knows what after lunch means).
Before practice starts, I prepare how I want to approach practice and establish some things I want to work on. This would be the time to reference the practice chart and have a clear picture of what the teacher is expecting for practice. Just because it's on the practice chart though doesn't necessarily mean a child will be ready to do everything on the list. Start with what is most important and go from there. Prepare a few alternatives to throw in if there is a lot of focus to be found. Whatever you don't use today, save for another day. The most important thing is that I, as the parent, am prepared. If I am not prepared, I can't expect my child to be.
Reveal the Plan
Once you, the parent, have established a practice plan for the day, reveal the plan ahead of time to your child. "Tomorrow after lunch, we are going to practice!" - "Today after lunch we are going to practice!" The best way to keep your child on board and feeling like they are part of the process and not just being told what to do, is to be open and honest about what is happening. It is so easy to overlook involving children in the plans for the day. It's no wonder they get upset when we schedule their entire lives and they have no say in the matter. Keeping them involved in the process and giving them time to process what is going to happen is so simple yet so easily forgotten.
Explain the Details
Even though a child now knows that practice is happening and when, there is still so much unknown. What will they be doing for practice? How long will it be? What will they play? What will they do after practice? etc. We all feel anxiety in the unknown. Giving details on what the practice plan is and what teacher is asking helps paint a picture of whats going to happen which can put children at ease and once again makes them part of the team. This can be established ahead of practice time and referred too often. Keep the plan small to start and then gradually add on as you and your child feel ready.
Put Your Child in Charge
This one is HUGE. Giving children choices and letting them feel they are in control not only can eliminate a lot of struggle at home but also teaches children autonomy. When I began to let go of controlling practice with my daughter and learned to work with her to make practice a time that made more sense to her, that's when I saw a real change in what was possible during practice time. We went from me always facilitating practice, to her finding intrinsic motivation to practice because she enjoyed the process of choosing what games we would play, what we would work on, how many times we would repeat and if we would learn anything new that day or just review.
Just because I am putting my child in charge, doesn't mean whatever she says goes. It's more about giving choices and opportunities. Would you like to start with Long Bow Twinkle or a rhythm today? Should we play Lightly Row or Song of the Wind for review? Should we learn the new part of Go Tell Aunt Rhody or do repetitions of this other practice spot?
This is the essence of Suzuki Lessons and learning without pressure. This is how to change the typical practice situation of parents constantly nagging a child to practice over and over again, to making it a very natural part of the child's day of play. It builds teamwork and strengthens the bond between parent & child. It builds a love of practice and learning.
Thank you @biglittlefeelings for these simple reminders!
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