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A little over a year ago I posted about how I FINALLY got my 3 (almost 4) year old to practice daily. CLICK HERE to read about it.
Although much of what I wrote is still true, our practice looks a lot different now than it did when I wrote those articles. Why? Because we are different. Practice is constantly evolving because we are constantly evolving. There has most definitely been struggle, but there has also been honesty and problem solving and strengthening our relationship. Here are some things I've learned and have been working on over the past year.
THE BIGGEST PRACTICE HURDLE: When to Practice.
Deciding when to practice is hard to determine. I know that getting practice done first thing in the morning is best and an ideal scenario. But that doesn't mean it is best for my child. This was my biggest struggle with my daughter. I had to let go of what I believed was best in the general sense. How did I do this? I talked about practice with my daughter. We came up with different ideas and decided together on a new time. It didn't take as long as I thought to get into the new routine, especially since we worked on the plan together. Now that we both came to agree on something, it meant that I didn't spend the ENTIRE morning nagging her about getting her practice done and she was a lot more clear on the expectations that were in place. Once lunch is done, I try to calmly remind her it is time to practice (our agreed upon time). If she gets distracted and wants to do something else, I will kindly remind her that I would love do that with her, once her practice is done. Generally we get it done without much issue. Some days are harder and I try to remind myself that's just human nature.
Keep experimenting with your practice times until you find something that works and bring your child in on the plans! They may have an idea you wouldn't have thought of otherwise!
Realizing what is NORMAL
It's easy to get caught up in what we think practice should look like, but it's important to have some perspective on what is normal in the general sense and what is normal for your family.
It is normal for practice to not always be easy.
It is normal for practice motivation to fluctuate.
It is normal to have some short practices and some long practices.
It is normal if your practice routine doesn't look like other family's - as long as it works for you.
It is human nature for our mood to change day to day. It is far too easy as an adult and a parent to assume our child's behaviour is just a child's behaviour, when it's really a human behaviour. There will be resistance to practice just as a child most likely will resist brushing their teeth, taking a bath, and eating a well balanced meal sometimes, even though we try to make these all daily priorities. As parents we can feel resistance to clean the house or prep for the next days events, to eat healthy or to exercise. Some days it's easy and some days it is really hard to do the things we know we should do and our good for us! Our kids feel this too and have every right to feel this.
So what do we do when there is resistance and our child is having an off day? Acknowledge where they are at, be understanding, but stay consistent and encouraging (and parents, let's remember to say that to ourselves on our off days!). Lastly, remember that a little bit or even just one thing is always better than nothing at all.
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